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It's not Miley's fault, it's yours

It's not Miley's fault, it's yours

I keep seeing a whole bunch of people calling singer Miley Cyrus all kinds of names on the internet lately. Yeah, sure, she's been licking hardware, smoking weed on stage and wearing all sorts of dumb fuzzy outfits. I'm not saying I don't enjoy lol-ing at her SHENANIGANS as much as the next person, because frankly, she's hilarious but what I'd never ever do is call her a « whore » for NOT BEING A GOOD ROLE MODEL.

As ridiculous as this may sound for many of you (including me), it's actually what people are angry at her for. Not being a good role model. I'm not going to address the whole “whore” and “slut” name-calling, because I don't have time to reeducate every internet imbecile on how those words are in no way acceptable. I'd have to travel in time and bitchslap every parent in history and I'm just too lazy. Ain't nobody got time for that.


I will, however, say this one thing to every person who thinks Miley is a bad role model: you are incredibly stupid. Think about it for a second: why the hell would she be a role model at all? Because she sings into a microphone, really? When did we start looking up to celebrities so much that we now expect them to be our moral leaders? And more importantly, why? They're not doing anything worthy of that much adoration. I mean yeah, they entertain, but the way people lose their shit over them and everything they do is just insane. The second some random guy hops on a stage with a guitar, people start going completely nuts. Here's an example, except it has no stage and no guitar, but bear with me.


Just last week, I read the comments on the Instagram of this dude that makes Vines named Rudy Mancuso. Long story short, Rudy shared a screenshot of a text with someone who had a wrong number.

 (source: instagram.com/rudymancuso)

The comments under the picture are just insane: “OMG I WOULD OF DIE” “Why is tis not meeeeee!” “Impossible, it's a hoax, too good to be true.” A hoax?! This is literally some guy in Jersey that happens to own a cellphone we're talking about. Nobody knew him like a month ago. He's actually pretty funny, but that's not the point: the point is that people are absolutely insane and they should keep that kind of creepy love for y'know, heroes and kid-savers and shit. Or nobody, cause it's not very healthy anyway.

Am I really the only one seeing the irony in telling people such as Snooki that they're setting a bad example for our youth?

The thing is, ladies and gents, they are not role models. Not at all. And no, they don't owe your children anything. You do. You're the one who has to show them that 1. they will always be surrounded with dumb, strange, naked and/or mean people who may or may not lick hammers and 2. how to use their brains to figure out what feels good to them and who they want to be. If you're blaming the problems of your kids on Miley Cyrus, you're a shit parent. Miley Cyrus is not your kid's mom, you are.

She's merely some young dumbass in a very unusual situation doing the same dumbass stuff we all did, except with endless budget and billions of spectators. At Miley's age, I had a shaved head, boots with studs on them, and I was working the night shift at a Dunkin Donuts. No way I'm telling you about my outfits and what kind of boys I was into. Let's just say that the only difference was that nobody was watching and I couldn't afford vagina grills or whatever the fuck she's into.

Basically, my point is that Miley doesn't owe you a single thing. I'd never revoke my right to make fun of her, cuz well, it's funny (and there's gotta be a downside to being given billions of dollars to something that's just, let's admit it, not that useful), but your kids and their decisions are none of her fucking concern. If you seriously expect Miley Cyrus or any otherpop star/celebrity to be in charge of showing your kids what to do, you need to un-have those kids immediately.


Like, right now.