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Charles Manson plans to marry 25-year-old Star and force all single people into depression
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November 22, 2013 - 11:11 AM

Charles Manson plans to marry 25-year-old Star and force all single people into depression

Warning: If you're feeling down about being single, you might not want to keep reading.

Why?

Because Charles Manson who...
  1. Is a serial killer charged with helping to orchestrate the gruesome murders of Sharon Tate, her unborn baby and many others
  2. Has spent the last 44 years in prison
  3. Is 79 years old but considering 2) looks more like he's 150
  4. Has a swastika tattooed on his forehead
...is getting married. To a 25-yeard-old. Who, yes, is a real woman.

Manson's wife-to-be, who simply goes by the name of Star, recently agreed to an interview with Rolling Stone in which she revealed that it was Manson's devotion to environmental causes that made her fall in love with him. How heart-warming.

"People can think I’m crazy, but they don’t know," she continued. "This is what’s right for me. This is what I was born for. I’ll tell you straight up, Charlie and I are going to get married. When that will be, we don’t know. But I take it very seriously. Charlie is my husband.”

Unfortunately, for the time being, Star is only allowed to give her man a peck on the cheek and a hug at the beginning and end of every jail visit and that's it. There's no official word on when and if they'll be able to consummate their relationship *shudder* and whether or not the ceremony will actually happen.

But there's defs a lesson to be learned here for all of us single folks and that is that there's still hope for us.

Remember that guy or gal you dumped because of all the little things that used to piss you off? Well, why don't you give 'em a call and see if the flame is still there because, hey, at least they didn't kill anyone, right?!

Oh yeah! Star has also recorded a super educational video in which she explains why Manson really isn't all that bad of a guy. Check it...