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Shame Sheet. Your Most Embarrassing Moments on Display: The Ex-Factor Edition

Exes are the worst. It doesn't seem to matter whether you're the dumper or the dumpee, whether it was violent or amicable, or whether you are now dating one of their siblings, it is never not awkward when you see them again. The Ex-Factor awkwardness is such an intense sensation that by and large it forces even the best of us to act like complete social morons. Here are a few stories to make you consider migrating following your next split, or at least leave the neighborhood.
Ever since breaking up with my ex-boyfriend two years ago I have lived in constant fear of ever seeing him again. Although the breakup was anything but amicable, since I did the breaking it shouldn't really be me who is so terrified of ever seeing him again, but every time I think I see him I panic and do something stupid. Most recently I was heading home from a lovely date night with my current boyfriend when I swore to god I saw him walking towards us on the same side of the road. Panic mode set in and for some reason I decided the best course of action was to push my boyfriend up against the wall and start making out with him... as if it would disguise me in some way. Even though it was quite shameful, and didn't end up being him, I'm not one to complain about an impromptu make out sesh.

The App Attack:

When couples split, they seem to either completely cut off all association or try to remain best friends. I have always been a huge fan of the former rather than the latter but some people try to make the 'just friends' thing work. "Tom" and his girlfriend were one of those couples.

After being together for four years they decided they were too toxic for one another and broke it off, but going so far as continuing to share a house in an attempt to stay close. After a few weeks of being single "Tom" decided to try his hand at online dating and signed up for an iPhone app specifically geared towards younger women seeking older men with money. It all seemed like a good idea until he was showing his ex a photo of their dog playing in the snow on his phone and a message from a particularly keen young woman popped up while she was still holding the phone... nothing like showing your ex you're looking for a gold digger.

The Wrong Side of Revenge:

Everyone reacts differently to being dumped. Us emotionally stable people go through and "eat and cry" cycle until everything gets better, while others feel the need to 'Get Him Back' Fiona Apple style. 'Trevor' understood that it isn't cool to break someone's heart via text message, but also wasn't a fan of confrontation, so he did it anyway.

Blowing off some steam the following weekend he took to the club district. Feeling rather excited by his newly discovered independence 'Trevor' was handing out a lot of drinks to pretty girls until one finally decided to go home with him. Upon settling his bar tab he realized the extent of the disdain his now ex-girlfriend had for him. She had stolen and maxed out all of his credit cards, and since he couldn't pay for his tab, he was forced to stay and bus tables until the morning. It probably goes without saying that he never ended up getting any that evening.

The Scrub: 

Don't get me wrong, I am one of the greatest advocates of using TLC lyrics for self-empowerment, but it can come off slightly pathetic if used incorrectly. 'Melissa' is the dumpee in this story, and she was not doing well with it. Not exactly 'steal your credit cards' upset, but she just didn't understand what went wrong in the relationship.

As all good girlfriends do, 'Melissa's gang took her out for a night of martinis and karaoke to banish the blues. However all the fruity drinks and girl power couldn't prepare 'Melissa' for seeing her ex boyfriend show up with another woman. Half in the bag at that point, 'Melissa' began planning her revenge. When it was her time to shine on stage she defaulted to her favourite song from her childhood. Dedicating the number to her ex by name, 'Melissa' proceeded to serenade him with "No Scrub" by TLC featuring an extended rap portion by someone she called "Melly-I"... on the bright side she was lookin' like class and he was lookin' like trash "Can't get wit' no deadbeat ass"

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