In "I can't believe this counts as news" news, The Hills star Lauren Conrad has slammed  Internet rumours that she and Justin Bobby, the perpetually unwashed beau of Hills costar Audrina Patridge, have been bumpin' uglies. Of course it's just a rumour! Would the girl who fell in love with Jason Wahler really deign to fool around with Justin Bobby? She has standards! (Hey, low standards still count as standards!)

"I'm accused of being a bad friend, a slut and a liar," Conrad told Us Weekly last Friday. "I would never hurt a friend like that!"

Yeah, because then she couldn't act all indignant and put-upon when one of her friends somehow betrays her by breaking a rule they didn't know existed. ("I can't believe you bought those earrings when I decided not to buy them for myself!")

Later, Conrad hinted on her MySpace blog that nemesis Spencer Pratt was responsible for the rumours.

"Hmmmmmm. I wonder who it could be? I'm baffled," she wrote. "What kind of person would enjoy watching blogs and the press tear me apart?"

Pratt, knowing a publicity opportunity when he sees one, wasted no time in giving his response to Us Weekly.

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised anymore that LC would choose to try and blame something on me. The truth is I was asked about this yesterday and chose to say absolutely nothing out of respect for Audrina's feelings. Why LC continues to bring me up whenever she gets into trouble is beyond me," he said. "That being said, if it is true what she did with Justin, it doesn't surprise me. Anyone who watched Laguna Beach saw her trying to steal someone's boyfriend every week for two years. Honestly, I really think she needs to stop blaming someone who wants nothing to do with her for all of the problems she creates."

You'll notice that Pratt doesn't offer a denial anywhere in there.

As for Patridge, the blank-eyed brunette expressed her displeasure on her own personal blog, though she wouldn't reveal whether the rumours had merit.

"I'm not sure what to believe. Though Justin and I have not been exclusive for quite some time, these rumors are very confusing and hurtful," she wrote. "I can't comment on whether they are true or false."

Why remain mum? Our guess is that Patridge employs a ghostblogger who isn't actually privy to all the details, because there is no way she has such a firm grasp on spelling, punctuation and grammar.

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