While her Gossip Girl character, Lily van der Woodsen, has gone through more husbands than Chuck Bass has purple bowties, Kelly Rutherford tells Life & Style magazine that she plans to "raise [her] children alone."

Rutherford, 40, left husband, German businessman Daniel Giersch, earlier this year, while pregnant with their second child. And while you might have a hard time recalling who exactly either of them are, you probably remember some of the details of their very public, very batshit divorce. Some highlights: He reportedly claimed she hurled a laptop at him in a rage; she reportedly said she feared he'd take their kid out of the country. Charming.

Rutherford gave birth to daughter Helena in June -- whom she's showing off in the new issue of Life & Style (big surprise: the kid looks like a baby). Her ex wasn't present to witness the birth -- and Giersch even told People last month that "I found out about it through Internet reports like everyone else."

As Rutherford told Life and Style, "I didn't want him in the room with me."

"When you're in labour, you don't want the man you're divorcing in there, especially someone who's said cruel things about you. I was just trying to have a healthy baby through an enormous amount of stress," she said.

The couple has another kid together, two-year-old son Hermes, and as Rutherford told Life and Style, she gave her marriage the old college try on account of the kids. "I stayed until I couldn't stay any longer, even though I wanted to be sure. When you have a child with someone, I think you have to be able to look at them and say, 'I did everything I could,' before you realize it's time to move on."

And in a move straight out of a soap opera (more predictable than Gossip Girl), Rutherford says she thought another kid would keep them together.

"I found out I was pregnant, and I thought, Oh, maybe things will be nice, maybe it will be calm," she told the mag. "But it wasn't. Things only got more intense."

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