As if Mondays weren't bad enough, upon arrival at the Dose.ca offices this morning, we discovered that David Spade and Nicolette Sheridan were "full-on making out" at Los Angeles restaurant Luau last Friday.

Is it possible to die from dry heaving? We'll probably find out by the end of the day.

Us Weekly reports that Spade hooked up with Sheridan at her 45th birthday celebration; while the two arrived separately and began dinner at different tables, Spade was right next to the actress when it came time for her to blow out the candles on her cake. Although her Desperate Housewives costars Felicity Huffman, Kyle MacLachlan and Neal McDonough were also in attendance, Sheridan reportedly soon ignored them in favour of "cuddling and kissing" in a booth with Spade.

This is yet another instance of Spade inexplicably landing a woman far out of his league, prompting many to wonder what crazy voodoo the actor is using on these poor females. But when you think about it, going from Heather "I Haven't Aged Since 1993" Locklear to Nicolette "My Face Looks Like A Foot" Sheridan might be considered a big step down for Spade, who also has a newborn daughter with 22-year-old Playboy Playmate Jillian Grace. And while the 45-year-old Saturday Night Live alum appears to be one of the skeeziest men in show business, he's a step up from Sheridan's ex-fiancé, Michael Bolton.

Unsurprisingly, a source close to the actress tells Us Weekly that Sheridan and Spade "are not dating." We understand, Nicolette. We wouldn't want to publicize our tragically low standards, either.

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