You'd think Madonna's bulging and terrifying lady-arms would be enough of a deterrent against her people releasing (apparently) false statements.

In a joint statement, Madonna and Guy Ritchie shot down recent reports that M was paying her director ex a divorce settlement in the area of $92 million U.S., calling the figure "misleading and inaccurate."

It was Madge's right-hand flack, Liz Rosenberg, who passed that intel to Associated Press two days ago. As she said at the time, the settlement was "one of the largest [divorce] payouts ever."

Maybe it still is, but the former Mr. and Mrs. Madge aren't divulging exact figures.

As for what they will say, here's the rest of their joint statement in all its duller-than-Swept-Away glory. You’re welcome.

"We have tried to maintain a dignified silence regarding the details of our divorce for the last few months whilst accepting the obvious media interest. A misleading and inaccurate statement, specifically in relation to the sums of money involved, was wrongly issued to AP this week. The financial details of the settlement will remain private, save to say that both of us are happy with our agreement. Our primary concern, like any co-parents, is the care and well being of our children."

Custody of their three kids has yet to be arranged. The couple's divorce is expected to be finalized in January.

© (c) CanWest MediaWorks Publications Inc.