The first rule of serious relationships: You don't talk about serious relationships. You don't tell anyone how awesome it's going. You don't tell anyone how amazing the other person is, or how great the sex is, or whatever. You just don't.

You especially don't do most of these things to People magazine, Jessica Simpson.

The beer-hocking blonde set herself up for a giant case of foot-in-mouth syndrome by spouting off to the borderline tabloid how boyfriend Tony Romo is the "perfect guy."

"I just told him today, 'You're the love of my life,' " she said of the Dallas Cowboys quarterback. "I don't really ever say that to anybody."

On top of writing a song for him on her upcoming album, Simpson has also reportedly changed all of her contact information so the long line of alleged exes can't get in touch with her again. Even while being in a relationship with the perfect guy, the charms of John Mayer are too dangerous to take chances with, we're to assume.

"I don't want anybody that's been in my life [before] in my life anymore," Simpson said. "I don't even want them to have any way of contacting me."

As for Mayer, Simpson mentions that the fallout of their "are they/aren't they" relationship forced her "to regain self-esteem and self-value."

No word on if we're to take this literally or if by regaining "self-esteem" and "value" Simpson means "got a Valtrex prescription and some therapy".

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