Cast: Joe Jonas, Nick Jonas, Kevin Jonas, Demi Lovato
Kinda Like: High School Musical with four times the writers and one quarter the charm.
Rating: 2 high-pitched squeals out of 5
The Deal: Like all people with questionable taste, I enjoyed High School Musical. It's no Citizen Kane – hell, it's not even Citizen Ruth – but for a cheesy, Disney channel movie, it was fun, it was cute and damn if those songs didn't get stuck in my head. So I was actually looking forward to seeing Camp Rock; it looked like High School Musical, except that Ashley Tisdale was not involved (always a plus) and while I didn't care one way or the other about the Jonas Brothers, I was willing to give them a shot.
But bogged down by clumsy writing, unclear morals and kids so perky that Kristin Chenoweth would tell them to calm down, Camp Rock does not live up to High School Musical's example.
At the outset, shy rocker Mitchie (Demi Lovato, who smiles so much that your cheeks will hurt), desperately wants to go to Camp Rock but her parents can't afford it. But worry not! Less than a minute later, it turns out her parents can afford it if her mom takes a job as the camp's cook. However, Mitchie soon discovers that the other campers come from rich, famous families, so in order to fit in with the cool girls, she lies and tells them that her mom is a big record executive.
Meanwhile, Shane Gray (played by real-life teen heartthrob Joe Jonas), the rebellious lead singer of Connect 3, has caused so many problems with his bad attitude that his bandmates (Nick and Kevin Jonas) cancel their tour and force Shane to spend the summer teaching kids how to rock at Camp Rock. It's pretty convenient that the camp is owned by their uncle, huh?
From this point on, the characters are at the mercy of their script, changing not when it makes sense but when the four (!) screenwriters arbitrarily decide it's necessary. Shane becomes a nice guy after about five minutes with almost no prompting – yes, Mitchie tells him to be nicer, but you'd think that someone else might have tried that tactic with Shane before shipping him off to Camp Rock as a last resort. (Also, if you're the world’s biggest rock star and you're going to teach a class at Camp Rock, what class would you teach? Hip-hop dancing, obviously.)
Mitchie's secrets are eventually revealed to the whole camp – not because she feels bad about lying but because one of the cool girls forces her to confess. As for Mitchie's mom, she is shockingly OK with the fact that her daughter was ashamed of her, teaching Mitchie the important lesson that it's all right to treat your parents badly. It all culminates in a big "believe in yourself" final number that doesn't feel earned.
On the bright side, the music of Camp Rock is the one element that lives up to High School Musical – trivial and cheesy, yes, but put the songs on your iPod and you won't be able to stop listening to them. My advice: buy the soundtrack and forget about watching it, because even Joe Jonas's shirtless scene is too brief to make Camp Rock worth the effort.
Canadian viewers can watch Camp Rock on Family.ca, starting June 23 at 8 p.m. ET.
© (c) CanWest MediaWorks Publications Inc.
